Vediamo appunto alcune regole generali utili nel rapporto sia nei confronti di qualcuno appena conosciuto, che in una coppia.
La seduzione e il corteggiamento sono aspetti fondamentali che andrebbero elaborati e considerati sempre all’interno di un rapporto.
È di fondamentale importanza essere sé stessi nei nuovi rapporti, per non partire fin dall’inizio con basi fasulle.
Avere intimità e conoscersi profondamente c’è bisogno di apertura e disponibilità emotiva. Nei primi incontri si tende a mostrare solo le parti migliori di sé, perché si sta cercando di conquistare l’altra persona. L’importante però, è non tacere mai parti di sé o mentire e dire qualcosa di diverso da quello che si è realmente.
Bisogna sentirsi a proprio agio nell’esprimere sé stessi, anche aprirsi all’altro fa paura, si è più vulnerabili e ci si può ferire.
L’indipendenza deve essere alla base di ogni rapporto, è basilare per lo sviluppo di tutte le persone e per il benessere psico-fisico.
Per sedurre è fondamentale stare bene con sé stessi.
È importante trovare il proprio equilibrio, senza aspettare con il telefono in mano una sua chiamata, trovando hobby e interessi ai quali appassionarsi e che riempiano la nostra vita. Avere bisogno degli altri o non poter star da soli, costituisce delle relazioni tossiche. Essere indipendenti ci rende più affascinanti.
Non bisogna mai manipolare l’altro. Non è possibile pensare di costruire una relazione, lunga o breve che sia, sulla manipolazione o soprattutto sulla sofferenza altrui!
L’amore e l’attrazione si basano sull’essere sé stessi rispettando sempre l’altro, SEMPRE, e sul gioco della seduzione. Non per manipolare l’altro perché faccia quello che noi vogliamo.
Esistono tante tecniche di manipolazione come per esempio il vittimismo, l’isolamento, il silenzio, il senso di colpa, la bugia, la sottomissione che possono portare a relazione tossiche e dolore.
Paga essere semplicemente spontanei, e talvolta maliziosi, ma non manipolatori
È un segno di rispetto e può diventare anche una dipendenza da smartphone, che si chiama phubbing. Può portare molto spesso le coppie a logorarsi, lo smartphone diventa altamente presente e non se ne può fare a meno, isolandosi, e creando una mancanza di comunicazione.
Il telefono negli appuntamenti non deve essere presente ma si deve concentrare l’attenzione alla persona presente con il contatto visivo e l’ascolto attivo.
La seduzione può essere divertente. È un gioco più malizioso, razionale, spontaneo, divertente e insolito. La seduzione ha bisogno del proprio sé e che sia autentico, essenziale, naturali e vibranti, unici.
L’umorismo è un segnale di una forte personalità e non c’è niente di più attraente che far ridere. Ironizzare sui difetti porta a conoscenza dei propri limiti ma soprattutto l’accettazione dei difetti ottenendo una buona autostima, per accettare meglio le critiche.
L’autoironia serve ad alleggerire e a non prendere le cose troppo sul serio o sul personale permettendo una comunicazione leggera e serena.
Sentirsi speciali per qualcuno è importante: trovare dei gesti, una comunicazione significativa per entrambi i partner, anche un gesto spontaneo e altruista, come una cena speciale, può contribuire a creare una situazione bella e particolare, anche i complimenti seduce l’altro. Bisogna cercare di creare un’intimità per la coppia.
Stare bene è alla base per la seduzione, bisogna rilassarsi e far rilassare quindi ci si deve lasciar andare e godere del momento.
Si può pensare di esercitarsi nell’atto di rilassarsi con la meditazione, le passeggiate, l’ascolto della musica, il riposarsi, che sono tutte attività che aiutano a eliminare lo stress.
Interessarsi, fare domande, essere curiosi della vita dell’altro, sono tutti indicatori del fatto che una persona è interessata.
Per sedurre e conquistare bisogna mostrare interesse e ascoltare ciò che ha da dire, naturalmente devono essere reciproci.
Il linguaggio del corpo serve per mostrare interesse, sicurezza, empatia, un atteggiamento positivo e aperto nei confronti dell’altro.
Per aver successo nella seduzione bisogna imparare ad aspettare e avere pazienza, senza essere invadente, bisogna dare il tempo di pensare, valutare l’interesse, senza mai mettere pressione o assillare l’altro. Ognuno ha i suoi tempi e le sue necessità di spazio.
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